Just Another World Meeting Gone Awry
by Marcy Queen of the Narwhals
Summary: At a weapons development meeting, two cooking utensil aficionados duel it out to answer life's most important question: wok or frying pan? Trouble is sure to ensue. There's a little bit of ChinaXHungary, but nothing too serious. Oneshot, rated T for mild violence and a cuss word at the end.


Lol well this was lying around on my iPod for a while so I decided to put it on Fanfiction. Yeah, ChinaXHungary isn't really a common pairing, but I think if they got to know each other better they'd make a good couple lol. Well, enjoy ^-^.

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Today's world meeting happened to be held in Switzerland, the perfect neutral place to meet. Ironically, one of today's discussions was on the development of weapons. America, as usual suggested genetically engineering a super hero army, which made Germany have an aneurism and scream at everyone. Switzerland suggested guns; Italy suggested pasta; Japan suggested katanas; Russia suggested pipes and pickaxes; and England suggested dark magic. All to be expected. But the real conflict came when Hungary suggested frying pans and China suggested woks. During the halfway break, they remained in the room to fight it out.

"Aiyah, woks are better because they have rounded bottoms." China glared across the room at Hungary.

"You have a rounded bottom." Hungary remarked.

"How would you know? Did you touch it?" China smirked at her.

Hungary's face turned red, but it was hard to tell if it was embarrassment or anger.

"No, rounded bottoms are why they are inferior to frying pans." she folded her hands together and returned the glare from across the table.

"See, watch this, aru." China produced a wok from nowhere and slammed it on the table.

A loud resounding bang rent through their ears. Left by the wok was a somewhat large, circular dent in the table.

"Yeah, a wok WOULD be good for beating a table. But not someone's head. The flat surface of a frying pan gives you more hit area." she explained, caressing the flat bottom of a frying pan.

"Sure, but if the rounded surface of a wok can leave a dent in a table, it can leave a dent in a skull, aru." China argued back.

"So can frying pans, if you turn them to the side." Hungary rolled her eyes, tilting her frying pan to the side and rapping it on the table noisily.

"Aiyah, woks look cooler. Frying pans suck, aru." China smirked.

"You wanna fight me!?" Hungary stood up and brandished her frying pan threateningly.

"Aiyah, and prove that woks are better? Hell yeah, aru!" China stood up quickly while brandishing his wok, making his chair fall onto the ground.

In a swift, graceful movement, Hungary leapt onto the table and stood in a dueling stance. China did the same and the two circled each other for about thirty seconds before Hungary descended an angry swarm of hits on China, who nimbly dodged or blocked them all.

*Meanwhile, out in the lobby*

A series of loud, resounding bangs coming from the main conference room alerted the attention of the people who hadn't gone out for lunch.

"Vee~ what was that?" Italy asked his brother.

"How am I supposed to know, bastard?" Romano smacked Italy on the back of the head.

"Fratello, don't be so mean!" Italy began crying and cradling an already forming lump.

Another series of bangs made their heads turn in the direction of the noise.

"Vee~ Should we check it out?" Italy stopped for a moment to ask.

"And get our asses kicked? Since when did we ever rush into a fight?" Romano snapped at Italy.

"Oh yeah~," Italy smiled, "Let's run away and find some pasta!"

"Good idea. For a bastard." Romano glared at him before taking off in the direction of the nearest Italian restaurant.

*Meanwhile, back in the main conference room*

Hungary and China both stood on opposite ends of the table, slightly hunched and panting heavily. China ran at Hungary, who leapt up into the air and did a flip while trying to land a hit on the back of China's head. China spun around at the last second and blocked her attack with his wok.

"Since when... did you... know martial arts... aru?" China asked between large breaths.

"Hahaha! Prussia does have his useful moments." she paused in thought for a moment with a reminiscent smile on her face.

China took this moment to attack while her guard was down.

"Why do you hang out with that pig anyway?" He half yelled as he twirled his wok, trying to hit her in rapid succession.

Hungary slid under him and took a swing at his back, but he flipped backwards over her. She spun around as he jumped and was ready for his next barrage of hits as she stuck her foot out, tripping him. Both exhausted, they decided to pause for a bit. But just to be sure he wouldn't attack her, Hungary sat on his stomach.

"Pig? What do you have against Prussia? Do I sense some jealousy here?" she smirked at him.

It was China's turn to turn red.

"A-aiyah! It's not like that! He just thinks he's so cool, aru, going around calling himself awesome. Who does that?" China pouted.

Hungary smiled evilly for a moment before taking the flower out of her hair and putting it in China's hair. She stared at him for a moment before doubling over in hysterical laughter.

"W-what? What's so funny, aru?" China asked frantically, fingering the flower in his hair.

"You look like a girl." she snickered.

"Aru!" China took the flower out of his hair and threw it on the table, "I'm a man! A manly man! Manlier than Prussia, aru." he mumbled the last part.

"What was that? Did I just hear you say you're manlier than Prussia?" Hungary smirked.

China's face reddened again, but this time it was in embarrassment.

"You're hearing things, aru." he glared at her unconvincingly.

"Yeah whatever hello-kitty-man." she smirked and rolled her eyes.

"What did you call me, aru!?" China snapped angrily.

"Hello. Kitty. Man." Hungary said as if talking to a five year old.

"Aiyah!" China screamed as he tried to smash Hungary's head with his wok.

She brought her frying pan down in front of her sword-style and grinned evilly. Caught in a deadlock, Hungary decided it was time to play dirty.

"Aiyah! That's not fair aru!" China screamed while falling down and rolling on the table in the fetal position, clutching his unmentionables.

"When did we set rules down for this fight?" Hungary retorted.

"Aiyah! There are just some things you shouldn't do..." China groaned.

"Whatever. I still won." Hungary shrugged.

"Woks are still better, aru." he mumbled while glaring at her darkly.

"What. Have you. Done. To my conference room!" an angry swiss blonde man screamed.

"Oops..." Hungary's eyes slowly drifted over the collateral damage the room had received.

Dents all over the table, holes in the wall, and broken chairs were only a few of the problems. They barely had time to hear the cock of a gun before shots rang out all around the room. It's best not to make Switzerland angry. China and Hungary raised their cooking utensils to their faces like shields and quickly rolled onto the floor to hide under the table. Shots punctured the table, leaving little beams of light behind.

"Look, we're gonna need to team up to fight him." Hungary whispered as she and China tried to crawl away from Switzerland.

"Only if you admit woks are better, aru." he paused and folded his arms.

"Now's not the time for that!" she hissed, "Do you want Switzerland to shoot you? Cus' I'll go out there alone."

"Why would I care?" China retorted.

"I don't know, because it's dangerous?" Hungary glared at him.

The gunshots paused for a moment and Switzerland began to reload. Unfortunately for him he was standing right next to the table. He didn't see as two hands grabbed his ankles and pulled, he only felt his head hit something and everything go black.

"Crap, he hit his head and we knocked him out." Hungary ran a hand through her hair.

"Aiyah! Why is that a bad thing, aru? He was tying to kill us!" China rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I guess it was provoked. And an accident," Hungary shrugged, " Let's tie him to a chair."

"Why?" China wondered.

"Isn't that what people do in these situations?" Hungary responded, "Besides, when he wakes up he'll just try to kill us again."

"True, aru," China considered it for a moment, "But where will we get the rope?"

Hungary slid some rope off her leg that was hidden by her long dress and snickered.

"I always keep some on me." she grinned and China sweat dropped.

A few minutes later an unconscious Switzerland was tied to a chair with his head hanging haphazardly to the side. Hungary glanced at the clock.

"Crap, we need to get out of here. The break's almost over." she urged as she stowed her frying pan under her dress.

'Rope, a frying pan... What else does she keep under there? Dynamite?' China thought to himself.

"I agree aru." China nodded.

"Let's use the window. People could be in the hallway." Hungary got out another thing of rope and began tying it to a sturdy curtain bar above one of the windows.

As soon as she was sure it was secure, she began her descent. With surprising speed, she reached the bottom and motioned for China to follow. china was quickly down as well, but much to their surprise, someone had known it was them.

"HUNGARYYYYY!" a familiar German accented voice boomed, "VHAT HAPPENED TO ZE CONFERENCE ROOM, UND VHY IZ SVITZERLAND TIED TO A CHAIR, UNCONSCIOUS?!"

Germany stuck his head out the window to glare at Hungary and China, who stared back at him with wide eyes, still shocked they had been found out.

"You too China? I am very disappointed!" Germany continued to scream at them.

"Crap! How'd he know?" Hungary cursed under her breath.

"Lookin' for something? Kesesesese!" an albino Prussian shoved his head past Germany's and he dangled Hungary's hair flower from the window.

"Shit! China run!" Hungary grabbed China's wrist and ran away from the window at full speed.

How weird this all must have sounded to any normal people who heard.


End file.
